Terry Pratchett, The Sea and Little Fishes

It's hard to contemplate, in the grey hours of the night, that probably the only reason people would come to your funeral would be to make sure you're dead.

Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

What we have created instead, as customers and employees and investors, is mountains of paper wealth so enormous that a handful of people in charge of them can take millions and billions for themselves without hurting anyone. Apparently. Many members of my generation are disappointed.

Voltaire

The earth swarms with people who are not worth talking to.


I disagree absolutely with what you say; but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead

And if I turn around, I'll never find out what happens next. I'll go away and I'll never know why it happened now and what would have happened next. I'll go away and grow up and get a job and get married and have children and become a grandad and retire and take up bowls and go into Sunshine Acres and watch daytime television until I die and I'll never know.

Robert Frost

Forgive me, O Lord, my little joke on Thee and I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.


The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Joseph Heller, God Knows

There is wisdom in madness and strong probability of truth in all accusations, for people are complete and everybody is capable of everything.


The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

Terry Pratchett, Thud!

Just possibly, the joke was on other people. Make them laugh, and they're not afraid.